Another week of NFL football coming your way. Much like every week, I’m fine tuning my craft and reflecting on the picks that hit and those that didn’t last week. Before we dive into the Sir Rebral Seven for Week 5 (and, of course, my full slate of selects), take a peek at my Week 4 recap video –– where I analyze where I went right and where I went wrong.

Without further ado, here are my supremely selected picks for this week. And beyond my top seven, check out the rest of my picks for spreads and over/unders further down below.

The Sir Rebral Seven

👑SIR REBRAL SELECT🧠: MIA -11 v NYG

Cerebral Index Rating: 98 (out of maximum 100)

The wheels have fallen off the Giants this year. They’ve been exposed for having the weak personnel that they fielded last year –– and didn’t improve upon. The Dolphins might have gotten embarrassed last week, but make no mistake, their offense is still the bomb. The Giants will have no answer for them, and this is a nightmare matchup in which the Dolphins should win by at least 3 touchdowns.

❌SIR REBRAL SELECT: WSH -6 v CHI

Cerebral Index Rating: 97

We tweeted this one out earlier, but unfortunately, the outcome wasn’t as predicted. The Commanders defense had a complete and total breakdown in the first half, as the Bears picked them apart en route to their first win in over a YEAR! Maybe it had something to do with Dick Butkus passing away shortly before kickoff.

@sirrebralselects

#stitch with @Just Gridiron Fans He’s right that there’s gonna be a lotta scoring, but much more so on the Commanders side. Our models are... See more

Alright, this TikTok might not have aged well. But you gotta respect the bold take, right?

👑SIR REBRAL SELECT🧠: NYJ @ DEN OVER 43

Cerebral Index Rating: 97%

2 weeks ago, the Broncos gave up 700 yards to the Dolphins, and last week 500 yards to the Bears. The Jets are in line for 400 yards of offense at minimum. That, coupled with the Broncos improved offense, sets up for an easy over in this game, at 43 points.

👑SIR REBRAL SELECT🧠: BAL @ PIT UNDER 38.5

Cerebral Index Rating: 96%

This is a matchup every year in which touchdowns are hard to come by. And even more so than usual, the Steelers have a very hard time scoring at all! This will be an ugly and low scoring AFC North showdown, and the Steelers defense will be hungry to bounce back after getting embarrassed by the Texans last week.

👑SIR REBRAL SELECT🧠: GB @ LV UNDER 45

Cerebral Index Rating: 96%

Both of these offenses are a shell of what they have been in years past, especially the Packers. Neither defense is great, but neither is pathetic either, so I don’t expect the ball to be moving at a great rate, and this game has “field goals” written all over it. Raiders win a close one at home.

👑SIR REBRAL SELECT🧠: HOU +2 @ ATL

Cerebral Index Rating: 95%

The Texans are one of the biggest surprises of the year. They didn’t just hit it out of the ballpark drafting CJ Stroud (who is a winner). Their receivers are fantastic, and their offensive play calling is also. They have posted 30+ points in back to back weeks now, and they face a Falcons secondary that is a bit soft. This is a QB matchup mismatch in Stroud v Ridder, so give me the Texans and their dynamic passing game to find a win on the road. While the Falcons are a one-trick pony with their rush attack, which can work at times, the Texans should be able to find a way not to let them rush for 250 yards on them.

👑SIR REBRAL SELECT🧠: NYJ +2 @ DEN

Cerebral Index Rating: 95%

Zach Wilson now showed us that he can play, as his back to back strong games are now a pattern. Not only that, but they now face a Denver defense that can only be referred to as “scary bad”. Zach and his offensive line will have time to throw, and his receivers will get open. Their offensive success, combined with the fact that the Jets defense won’t be an easy matchup for the Broncos offense, leads me to projecting a Jets road win and their first win since week 1.

🙅‍♂️SIR REBRAL STAY AWAY🙅‍♂️: CIN -3 v ARI

Don’t touch this spread!

The Bengals are a team that you must stay away from right now, as it is unclear when they will return to their form. After an embarrassing loss to Tennessee last week, them beating the Cardinals is now in some serious doubt.

The Spread Selects

❌WSH -6 v CHI

BUF -5.5 against JAX

NE -1 v NO

TEN -1 @ IND

PIT +4 v BAL

DET -9.5 v CAR

HOU +2 @ ATL

MIA -11 v NYG

LAR +4.5 v PHI

NYJ +2 @ DEN

MIN +4 v KC

ARI +3 v CIN

SF -3.5 v DAL

LV +1 v GB

The Over/Under Selects

✅ CHI @ WSH OVER 44.5

BUF against JAX UNDER 48

NO @ NE UNDER 40

TEN @ IND UNDER 42.5

BAL @ PIT UNDER 38.5

CAR @ DET UNDER 45

HOU @ ATL OVER 41

NYG @ MIA OVER 48.5

PHI @ LAR UNDER 50.5

NYJ @ DEN OVER 43

KC @ MIN OVER 53

CIN @ ARI OVER 44.5

DAL @ SF UNDER 45

GB @ LV UNDER 44.5

More to come on social media. We’ll be live-tweeting on Twitter all weekend, posting on TikTok, recapping the picks on Youtube, and flicking up on Instagram.

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Have fun this weekend,

-- Joey