Quarterbank Rankings and Week 9 Selects

New Week. Same Grind. Better Intellect.

After an electrically hot week in Week 8 (20-10, which means a 67% success rate), we hope Week 9 stays sweltering. Before I dive into the numbers and the selects for Week 9, it is my great honor to present to you my current ranking of the NFL’s strongest quarterbacks.  

Quarterback Rankings

  1. Kansas City Chiefs (Patrick Mahomes + Blaine Gabbert) A

  2. Philadelphia Eagles (Jalen Hurts + Marcus Mariota) A

  3. Buffalo Bills (Josh Allen + Kyle Allen) A

  4. Cincinnati Bengals (Joe Burrow + Jake Browning) A-

  5. Baltimore Ravens (Lamar Jackson + Tyler Huntley) A-

  6. Jacksonville Jaguars (Trevor Lawrence + CJ Beathard) A-

  7. Miami Dolphins (Tua Tagovailoa + Mike White) A-

  8. Los Angeles Chargers (Justin Herbert + Easton Stick) A-

  9. San Francisco 49ers (Brock Purdy + Sam Darnold) B+

  10. Houston Texans (CJ Stroud + Davis Mills) B+

  11. Detroit Lions (Jared Goff + Teddy Bridgewater) B+

  12. Los Angeles Rams (Matthew Stafford + Brett Rypien) B+

  13. Dallas Cowboys (Dak Prescott + Cooper Rush) B

  14. Seattle Seahawks (Geno Smith + Drew Lock) B

  15. New Orleans Saints (Derek Carr + Jameis Winston) B

  16. Washington Commanders (Sam Howell + Jacoby Brissett) B

  17. Denver Broncos (Russell Wilson + Jarrett Stidham) B-

  18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Baker Mayfield + Kyle Trask) B-

  19. Chicago Bears (Justin Fields + Tyson Bagent) B-

  20. Carolina Panthers (Bryce Young + Andy Dalton) B-

  21. Cleveland Browns (Deshaun Watson + Dorian Thompson-Robinson) B-

  22. Indianapolis Colts (Gardner Minshew III + Sam Ehlinger) C+

  23. Tennessee Titans (Will Levis + Malik Willis) C+

  24. New York Jets (Zach Wilson + Trevor Siemian) C+

  25. Atlanta Falcons (Taylor Heinicke + Desmond Ridder) C+

  26. New York Giants (Daniel Jones + Tyrod Taylor) C+

  27. Arizona Cardinals (Clayton Tune + Kyler Murray) C+

  28. Pittsburgh Steelers (Kenny Pickett + Mitch Trubisky) C+

  29. New England Patriots (Mac Jones + Bailey Zappe) C

  30. Green Bay Packers (Jordan Love + Sean Clifford) C

  31. Minnesota Vikings (Jaren Hall + Josh Dobbs) C

  32. Las Vegas Raiders (Aidan O’Connell + Brian Hoyer) C

Without further ado, let’s get into the Sir Rebral Seven.

Free Selects


Cerebral Index Rating: 98 (out of maximum 100)

Score Projection: Saints 27 Bears 20

One week removed from a very soft performance by the Bears defensive line (0 sacks), the Saints are poised to score their fair share of points. The Bears’ acquisition of Montez Sweat might pay dividends eventually, but that doesn’t change the whole equation immediately, or anywhere close to it. The Bears’ defensive line is soft, plain and simple. The O/U of 41 in this game is just far too low, when the Saints could, and should, score 30 points easily at home. Meanwhile, the Bears offense is certainly respectable still. They only scored 13 points last week because of some turnovers and their inability to keep the Chargers offense off the field. But they still showed a lot of poise and ability, and with a fresh slate, I think they will score around 20 on average.


Cerebral Index Rating: 98 (out of maximum 100) 

Score Projection: Raiders 17 Giants 14

The Raiders and Giants face off this week, coming in ranked last and second to last in yards gained, respectively. Especially with rookie Aidan O’Connell in at QB now for the benched Jimmy G, this game is a slam dunk under. Both teams have gone under 7 of 8 games this year, and I expect it to be very unexciting to say the least. The Raiders’ offensive line had looked pretty good at times in the first half of this year, but they have shown major regression in recent weeks, and face a Giants defense that loves to dial up pressure. I expect lots of sacks in this game on both sides, as the Giants always give up a chunk regardless of their opposition. 

Sign up to see my Selects for:

Los Angeles Rams @ Green Bay Packers

Chicago Bears @ New Orleans Saints

Miami Dolphins vs Kansas City

Houston Texans vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Carolina Panthers vs Indianapolis Colts

And my Sir Rebral Stay Away of the week!

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-- Joey